Live Lagh Love : a Tattoo Tribulation

Transcription:

Aye, settle in, ye daft bampots, fur a wild tale o’ Kevin an’ Lance findin’ themselves in a right stinkin’ mess at a tattoo shop. Picture this: a sun-soaked afternoon in Glenfinnan, and the trio’s hanging oot at “Jokems Tattoos,” the dodgiest ink haven this side o’ the Clyde, run by their mate Jashee Poseur – a tattoo artist wi’ more ambition than actual skill. So there they were, loungin’ on beat-up chairs, messin’ about like a pair o’ drunken monkeys. Jashee Poseur had a customer in the chair, a daft wummin’ named Karen, who wanted a tattoo that said “Live Laugh Love.” But yer pal Jashee Poseur, bless his heart, got a wee bit carried away when he started ink’n. An’ by the time Lance noticed, the tattoo already read “Live Lagh Love.” “Eh, Poseur,” Lance piped up, “Ye ken ye’ve made a balls-up, right?” Jashee Poseur, always one fur a bit o’ denial, waved his hand dismissively. “Naw bother, it’s a new trend. Best thing since sliced haggis, trust me.” Kevin, ever the optimist, thought maybe they could wriggle oot o’ this sticky situation. “Aye, let’s no let on,” he suggested. “We’ll just convince her it\'s a special Gaelic thing! She’ll be none the wiser.” Coordinatin’ like a pair o’ drunk synchronised swimmers, Kevin and Lance whirled around the customer, flashin’ their best muppety grins. “Och, Karen, lassie!” Kevin bellowed, “D’ye ken that’s actually a Gaelic expression? Means yir livin’, laughin’, an’ lovin’ in style!” “Aye!” Lance chimed in, thinkin’ he could contribute summat worthwhile. “It’s, eh, like trying tae capture the essence of joy and stuff! Pure poetry, it is!” Poor Karen looked a bit bewildered, squintin’ at her newly inked arm like it was some kinda alien life form. “Really? But I wanted it to say ‘Live Laugh Love’…” “Exactly!” said Kevin, almost poppin’ a blood vessel in excitement. “Ye see, the ‘Lagh’ is a, um, rare Scottish dialect. New, exclusive! Only the wisest o’ the wise use it!” Karen, not becomin’ any brighter, nodded as if they were enlightenin\' her. “Oh! I see! How unique!” The two eejits exchanged a frantic look while Jashee Poseur stood behind the chair, sweat drippin’ down his forehead like he was at a Highland Games event. As Karen started takin’ pics o’ her tattoo, Lance blurted, “An’ ye ken what? We can just make it trend! Start a hashtag like #LaghinLife or somethin’!” Minutes stretched into eternity until the customer finally left, blissfully ignorant of the tattoo’s monumental flub. As soon as she was out the door, Kevin burst into raucous laughter, thinkin’ they’d outsmarted the universe. “Jashee Poseur, ye wee twit! Ye nearly gave me a heart attack!” Lance yelled, clutchin’ his sides. “New trend, eh? It’s gonna be more popular than a bairn at a sweetie shop!” Jashee Poseur, lookin’ about as royal as a cat in a bath, groaned, “Aye, cheers, lads. Next time, I’ll just spell it right, or let ye do it!” An’ so, the three muppets had barely scraped by without the wrath of a livid customer. They swore to keep the blunder from gettin’ out, but the story of “Lagh” was already beginin’ to weave its way into the folklore of Tatt City, an’ who knew what future chump would come in askin’ for it? An’ if ye ever find yerself in a tattoo shop where the ink flows like the whiskey, just remember this pair o’ clowns. If ye see Karen’s tat, be prepared to laugh your arse off at "Laaghin’ Life" - Scottlish style!